Dear Allah,
Looking around everywhere in knowing that its all yours and none of its mine.
Your power that could take us from this world anytime.
Why try when we know we’re going to die.
You put us on this world for a reason.
A reason so we can change.
A reason so when someone looks back they recognize it was all your doings.
You bring confidence and power in me so I can believe so I can accept others.
You forgive me in knowing I will forgive others.
You gave me knowledge so I could teach others.
You give me wealth in knowing I will spread it to the poor.
You gave me the humbleness so I don’t compare myself to others.
You told us when someone try’s to hurt us let them hurt us, let them disrespect us, but don’t portray revenge in any way, but show them what the right path is.
You put us in this world so when someone throws bricks at us, use those bricks to lay foundations for them so they know what being Muslim actually means.
When I change something for the good, I don’t need appreciation or gifts from others.
All I need is forgiveness and love from you.
Thank you, Allah
Author’s Note:
I decided to write this poem, which is dedicated to my belief in Islam.I felt like this was an important piece that I wrote, since it lets me reflect on some of my values and beliefs of forgiveness, helping out others, and getting back up from failure. The most significant value to me is not judging others because everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves, to be accepted, and in return to treat with you the same open-mindedness. I always remind myself, if God doesn’t judge us, gives us countless amount of opportunities to redeem our self-worth and attain forgiveness, who am I judge others. God is the only one who has the power to forgive and give punishment, to allow you to succeed by testing you, ultimately, allowing you to grow your determination and diligence. God just wants us to be better humans because he created us, and he loves us.
Citations:
https://www.tumblr.com/search/badshahi%20masjid%20in%20lahore
Dear Zulkifl,
I was able to feel a strong connection to the words you wrote even though we do not share the same religion, but rather, share the similar concept of having a God. It was full of thought and lead me to have a better insight in regards to who you are as a person. I also appreciate how you added a little exposition at the end of your letter to further expand on and depict your thoughts. I felt at peace while reading this and learned more about Islam as well.
As a note for growth, I would recommend you to read aloud your writing to figure out punctuation as well as wording that sounds iffy and can be improved upon, so that you can get your words across more clearly and enhance the overall flow of your piece.
With love,
Faith
Dear Faith,
Thank you for commenting on my post.I do now realize that some words could have been replaced with better words,as well as places where punctuation was needed or where it was wrong, and needed to be replaced.later on when I do go to edit this piece, I will for sure fix words as well as punctuation. Thanks for your critique!
Zulkifl!
When I read through this piece, I felt as if I was able to gain a better sense of who you are as an individual through your writing. Personally, I loved that you wrote about your beliefs, which despite me not sharing the same faith as your own, has given me a greater outlook on the impacts that religion, and belief in general, has on an individual and their actions.
A small glow for your work would be to reread through your writing to see where you can improve on your word choice or on punctuation 🙂
Overall, I’m excited to see more of what you have to write throughout this semester and I can’t wait to see you grow even more as a writer!
Fighting!
Chloe!
Dear Chloe,
Thank you for commenting on my post.Now I do realize that throughout my piece my punctuation was a little iffy.And fixing that will enhance how the reader reads the piece. So when i do go back and edit this piece i will for sure fix all punctuation issues.Thanks!
Dear Zulkifl,
Your February Free Choice, Dear Allah, was beautifully written and truly a moving piece on your blog. I love how near the end of the post you explained your reasoning for why you chose to write this. It gave me more insight into who you are as a person and what your core values because and beliefs are. A part of your poem that stood out to me was: “You put us in this world so when someone throws bricks at us, use those bricks to lay foundations for them so they know what being Muslim actually means.” I loved the metaphor you used of the bricks, and I think this element of figurative language enhanced the quality of your poem.
One suggestion that I have for your piece is for you to determine which narrative you want to use and stick with it to establish uniformity throughout the post. In certain parts of your writing you use the pronoun “I”, and in other parts you use “us”. I think if you were to stick with a single narrative it would elevate the quality of the writing in your otherwise beautifully written post.
Overall amazing work and writing, once again loved how you were able to use your Free Choice to show who you are as a person and your own personal morals and set of beliefs.
Sincerely,
Natalie.✰
Dear Natalie,
Thank you for commenting on my post.I do now realize that sticking to a specific narrative would have made the piece flow better.And hopefully when I go back to edit this piece, I will take into count what you said about the specific narrative and implement it into this piece.
Once again thank you for your critique!
Dear Zulkifl,
Reading this piece allowed me to gain a better understanding of you as a person and the things you value. I really liked what you wrote as it showed your personal connection to Islam and how important it is to you. Adding the authors note at the end allowed me to gain an even better understanding of your connection and belief in Islam.
If I had to make one suggestion it would be to reread your work and fix any pronoun mistakes as you switched between “I” and “us”. The switching between the 2 took away from the piece as it made it a little bit confusing. I think you could take out all the times you used “us” and replace it with “I”. Other than that, I do not have any critiques this piece of writing was very beautiful. I look forward to reading more of your enlightening and personal pieces.
Sincerely,
Abdullah